The Earth-Maker Is A Stick

Before...

Lima is huge. Apparently, the population swelled in the 80s, as people from the countryside fled to the city in order to escape the terror of the Shining Path. It is also mostly poor, too, as, among other things, the economy has never been able to handle this massive migration.

The Pacific Ocean

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Oblivious to this reality, I stayed in a posh hotel in the Miraflores (literally: "view of flowers") district of Lima, which is right on the coast and is pretty (it reminded me of California), safe, and affluent—all of the things that the rest of Lima is not. Someone told me that Lima is possibly the most dangerous city in South America, but I spent most of my free time wandering around Miraflores, riding in taxis, and visiting pre-Incan ruins just outside of town.

"Friar's Leap" (there's a story here, but I won't go into it)

On the first evening in Lima, I had some time to kill before meeting the others for dinner, so I wandered down to the hotel bar. Turns out it was Happy Hour—which, did not mean cheap drinks as I had thought when I ordered my first Pisco Sour--Peru’s signature cocktail. As soon as I finished my Pisco, the bartender quickly replaced it with a new one and informed me that Happy Hour means 2-for-1.

Maybe it was just the sense of adventure upon arriving in a new city, or perhaps it was the extra alcohol, but I thought it was somehow important that I order cuy for dinner.

...after

It was actually pretty good—though a bit on the salty side and full of little tiny bones. It was very crispy and tasted a bit like rabbit or chicken. I finished it all and was quite thankful that it didn’t come to the table as I had initially imagined--sprawled out on a tiny platter with a grape in its mouth.

The next morning, energized by little beast’s blood, we hired a van and guide to take us to some ruins about 45 minutes outside of town. The route took us along the coast, through a poor suburb of Lima (an endless jumble of unstable, tin-roofed shacks sprawled out near and on top of enormous sand dunes), and eventually joined the Pan-American Highway.

Moto-taxi

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Our destination was Pachacamac, dusty, pre-Incan ruins that are still being excavated.

Dig

The story of Pachacamac, the city, is complicated. Apparently it was first built by one group of people, then another group took over and added to it, then the Inca’s stopped by and added a little something to it, before the Spaniards arrived and, well, did what the Spaniards tended to do in this part of the world: ruin everything.

Basically, from what I remember, Pachacamac was considered the “Earth-Maker” and he lived in a pyramid. People would travel great distances to consult the oracle of Pachacamac to get advice about elections, politics, agriculture, war, etc. However, only a certain group of elite priests could consult with P. They would take hallucinogens, wander into the dark room where he resided, and ask his advice.

The Sun Pyramid, I think

They would also sacrifice all of the pretty, noble and smart young girls in town in order to win his favor. Apparently, if you only had 2 of the 3 characteristics, you became either a wife to one of the leaders or a teacher. I never found out what happened to the ugly, dumb, and classless girls, but I bet it was better than being bludgeoned, quartered, and decapitated at the top of a pyramid (though there was a pretty view from up there).

It's a good thing that I'm only 1-for-3 on the sacrificial scale.

At any rate, this went on for a while, until Pizarro—Francisco’s brother—arrived and demanded to meet the Earth-Maker. Eventually, the priests gave in and let him in the pyramid. Well, Pizarro decided to enter P’s house with a clear mind and a candle, so he soon discovered that Pachacamac was just a stick. A cool, carved stick with 2 faces, but a stick, nonetheless.

Stick

(At one point in the visit, Ryan, one of my companions on the trip, turned to me and said, “so basically, they got hopped up on drugs, crawled around in the dark, talked to a stick, and then elected their leaders?” I wondered whether or not we've regressed politically.)

One of the many accomplishments of the Inca was the invention of the

stewardess. Did they have overhead bins back then?

So anyway, the conquistador’s brother ruined it for everyone by breaking Pachacamac in half and all of the people--surprised that their god didn't unleash his vengence--converted to Christianity. I may have missed a step or two, but you get the point.

Pachacamac Petting Zoo (I did not eat the llama nor the ugliest dog ever)

Well, that was yesterday. Tonight, it's raining in Sao Paulo and I need some sleep.